"the gerkin"

The most spectacularly disgusting thing happened to me this morning. I still can't believe it.

6:03am - I awake, feeling not so refreshed due to the warm room conditions and a snoring roommate, but I drag my tiny heiny (love to the sister) into the shower and emerge refreshed and cleansed, ready for the day that lies ahead.

6:14am - I sneak into the room so as not to wake said snoring roommate and tiptoe up to my bed, so I can make it (what a good girl I am, right, Mama?). What's that little stain? Did I have a bloody nose last night? Maybe that's why I didn't sleep so well. I go up to touch the stain, to see if it's blood... it's 3-dimensional... and slimy. A worm? I poke it. It turns over... it has a little face. It's a DEAD BABY LIZARD!

I'm in shock. Did I sleep with it all night? Did I kill the little baby lizard?

I collect myself and the lizard... and have a little laugh, but decide that I need my sheets changed before I can sleep in that bed again.

I run into "the domestic" (aka housekeeper) on my way to school and try to explain the situation to her. Could she please change my sheets because I found a dead baby lizard in my bed this morning. She looks confused. I remember the last lizard escapade and recall that my students used a different name for the lizard... it started with a g.... gerkin? So, I tell the housekeeper that there was a dead baby gerkin in my bed this morning and could she please change the sheets. This time she looks at me like I'm crazy. I try to repeat myself, enunciating, speaking more slowly... then, I remember, the students didn't say gerkin. They said gecco. I just told the housekeeper that I found a little baby pickle in my bed!

I attempt to sort out the situation... but I feel like a fool. LIKE A FOOL! Haha! Oops! Off to school!

P.S. The sheets were changed.

Stay tuned for the next episode: Meatloaf on a stick.